Things To Do In Bristol When You're (OCD)ead: Television

Spellcasting! M-O-S-T H-A-U-N-T-E-D

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 00:19:06 GMT

Something occured to me during tonight's episode of 'Most Haunted' - it's turning into 'Knightmare'.

Remember that? The 80s CITV programme where 3 geeky kids would guide a 'dungeoneer' in a plastic hat through a mix of computer-generated and real-life areas on a quest for a cup or plate?

Was an excellent programme until the disturbingly effeminate male elf sidekick came along. but those bits where they dungeoneer would walk between locations and you got a weird negative-coloured view of the area looked just like the bits on MH where they were doing camera shots of the location they were in (and even the nightvision footage looked similar).

All Yvette needs is a wonky eye and she'd make a great dungeon master.

BTW, Feb 23-25 is the next Most Haunted Live - this time from the castle of Vlad the Impaler in Transylvania. Not gimmicky at all.

DVD Killed the Xmas Day Star

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 11:11:30 GMT

Ok, so a perusal of the RT has found that the normal selection of rubbish is all rpesent and correct over the festive period. And yet again, all the talk is of 'whatever happened to the big films they used to show over the Christmas period?'.

Well, they're still there - 'Pirates of the Carribean', 'Monsters Inc'...umm, and others are all present. All premieres on terrestrial tv, all box-office biggies. BUT here's the deal - now that everyone has a DVD player, there's just not the appeal anymore as we've all seen them.

Was different with video - took a while to become a regular household thing and, even then, the bulkiness and lack of convenience about them meant they never had such mass appeal as the DVD player. Now you can grab a player for £15-£20, or watch the film itself on your PC or handheld. With discs being so cheap, the whole idea of the terrestrial film premiere has gone.

So...

How about this? There's no point having the BBC/ITV/C4/Five trying to bid for film rights exclusively against Sky as they'll always lose - simple as that. Their bidding comes in to show it a few years after Sky have got their bit and then the DVD itself has been released. But why not do some kind of deal where terrestrial channels bid for the rights to show a film after the aforementioned people (as normal), BUT within that bid is also the premise to have a one-off showing between pre-determined dates over the festive period within, say, a year of that film's Box office release. That should put it just after Sky premiere it, a one-off showing should reduce the ability for piracy (and DVD recorders aren't exactly in every household), and then the film won't be shown again until the normal '3 years or so after cinematic showing' pattern. Details could be hammered out with Sky (maybe having to be 1 month between a Sky premiere and a terrestrial one or something), but it works for me.

Just an idea...

I'm a Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual 'I'm A Celebrity'...

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 12:33:42 GMT

(Look, with the bunch in there this year, finding an entertaining title was hard, ok?)

Yes, "I'm a Celeb..." is back and in danger of being sued under the trade descriptions act after announcing its line-up.

Entertaining us (I use the term loosely) this year are:

Jason Donovan, David Gest, Lauren Booth, Matt Willis, Myleene Klass, Toby Anstiss, Faith Brown, Scott Henshall, Jan Leeming and Phina Oruche.

Yes it is, isn't it?

I'll give them Donovan - still a big star on the musical circuit after Rocky Horror, I'll stretch to giving them David Gest - though surely the guy will melt out there before divulging any secrets from him and Miz Minelli - but...Toby Anstiss? Jan Leeming? Faith Brown - oh joy, an endless stream of Thatcher and Cilla black impressions? Matt Willis doesn't need record sales that badly, does he? And Booth, Henshall and Oruche are surely the equivalent of crewmen no. 5, 6 and 7 in Star Trek - we can only hope that some kind of wild animal task involving using them as sacrificial bait is being included this year.

My bet? Donovan will walk it, with Matt Willis and Faith Brown claiming top 3 spots. Though by that point, I'd probably have fantasised about Tara Palmer Tomkinson performing some form of koala-based bestiality on the 'extra' show so much through sheer boredom that I won't have the energy to care.

Cirque de Celebrite - TV for the deficient

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 22:01:30 GMT

Y'see, when I'm in a bad mood I'm not a great believer in putting on a 'happy face' and keeping it to myself.

Oh no.

I like to spread it around a bit and take it out on unfortunate targets - the more blameless the better. Why should I suffer in silence when there's so much entertainment in bringing people down to my level? That way, I'm not worried that I'm missing out on a good time due to my bad mood, as no-one else is in a good enough mood to have one either because of me. Spread the sorrow.

However...tonight, that changed. A worthy target stepped forward just begging to be verbally smacked around the face a few times, one so annoying that it even eclipsed the possibility of coming up with Motown songs with a disabled title twist for the wheelchair-bound girl on X-Factor to sing.

Cirque De Celebrite.

What the hell were Sky One thinking?

Take a group of celebrities who'd either a) monumentally failed on other reality shows (Grace from BB), b) had an obscure media-related career, often after an obscure career in another field (Mark Bright) c) had the panto season finally dry up on them as past glories faded (Zammo), or d) all of the above (Kenzie). Put them in a circus performance (which is only entertaining as a viewing experience when done really really well - slipping off a trapeze and calling it a 'trick' doesn't count), add three unknown and uncharasmatic judges and a female entertainer crippled by the format and timeslot (Ruby Wax) and just watch those viewing figures plummet.

But what really, really did it was the black comedienne who appeared on it - her name escapes me but it's the big one from some equally unmemorable BBC sketch show who stumbled around Celebrity Fame Academy until halfway through, when playing it for laughs because she couldn't sing finally became so unfunny that the public put themselves out of their misery and voted her off. To do it once on a reality tv show is bad enough but vaguely acceptable. To then repeat the same trick of poor comedy dancing to cover up complete ineptitude on ANOTHER reality show? No. Nonononono.Laugh? I would have, if I wasn;t so busy saying 'make an effort you lazy bitch'.

That the judges then gave her high marks based on this hilarious ineptitude (compared to a previous contestant who did a good routine ad actually got less marks) was the equivalent of shooting the human cannonball through your own foot. Don't hype up the competition for weeks and weeks and then destroy its credibility within the first half-an-hour.

Fools.

BB - Smell my armpit!

Wed, 24 May 2006 08:15:01 GMT

The above will mean nothing to non-Big Brother watchers. But for those that do...

Can Nikki POSSIBLY be real? I was convinced within 5 mins of her entering the house that she was a plant put there by BB themselves...surely no-one can be that shallow, that horrifically mindless, that spoilt and that emotionally stunted. Surely it must be a fantastic act?

How can thousands upon thousands of years of evolution still end up producing someone like that? I'll admit, BB over the years has seen some real frakshows in that house but I still can't find it in myself to believe that there could possibly be people like that walking the face of the earth - she's a character out of Ab Fab for god's sake!

Still....I want her kept in. She has that kind of cringeworthy entertainment factor about her - every time she opens her mouth it evokes the same horrified viewing fascination as a car crash (see last night's armpits comment, the B.O comment). Indeed, last night's speech about Pete was like watching the bastard offspring of a Miss World contestent and David Brent giving a piece to camera. I fear that now Shahbaz has gone (another crazy man) she may be the next target for sheer annoyance value. But, in a house devoid of comedians, her unintentional hilarity is probably the best thing about the programme so far.

Last night's BB...

Fri, 19 May 2006 15:13:34 GMT

Yep, 'twas the return of the House of Idiots last night as Channel 4 introduced the latest group of deficients aiming to entertain (but ending up annoying, most likely) the public for a monster 13-week stint this time round.

And what a menagerie there was. Within the group are:

- An incoherent chav raver female called Bonnie (though seemingly incapable of pronouncing her own name)

- Tourette's sufferer Pete (yep, the full-on version replete with bad language). May be a nice guy but it's going to be very annoying very soon if last night was anything to go by. Glenn's observation that the guy sounded like Clunk from the 'Stop the Pigeon' cartoon was the night's high-point - harsh and i don't promote the p-taking of such stuff, but did make me giggle then feel ashamed.

- A homosexual version of Johnny Bravo from Canada.

- A 'Plastic-ma'am' who probably has more plastic then flesh on her body and claims to be 35 (lol).

- An anorexic Welsh lifeguard yet to come out of the closet, methinks.

- A black woman who makes the Grim Reaper sound like Russ Abbot on an acid trip, she's that depressing (though playing up to the camera 4 her interview a la Craig last year, methinks).

- A few sloane types who may have to learn how to wash up without the butler around.

- A former Welsh beauty queen who spoiled things by starting to talk.

- A Mancunian Chinese girl who appeared both to be deaf and to have the ability to deafen others with vocal power alone.

- A footballers wives wannabe who I'm calling out as an actress/plant straight away. If she isn't then this year's competition has hit a new low in finding the shallowest person alive.

- An inner-city wheeler/dealer who believes himself a sex-god, but may well have the sexual appeal of Del Boy.

- A pretty boy coat hanger who thinks he is a sex magnet and is a male chauvanist to boot.

- And a middle-aged, Scottish, gay pakistani guy who was certain he was a bizarre individual before he went in, and probably now realises that 'bizarre' is a very relative term.

Early impressions? Surprised that there doesn't seem to be a natural comedian in the house this year, or any geek or philosophiser. First out? An early guess that it's between George (one of the sloanes who's a distant royal family member and didn't mix at all last night), Plastic woman (who the whole crowd just loathed pretty much) and maybe the footie wife.

Winner? Many will say Pete, but only if he calms it down - not his fault but can see it grating. The female sloane may do well (seems nice enough), Lisa the Manc Chinese girl will also do well. But I have a strange feeling that the Gay Johnny Bravo may take the title this year. Slightly less hectically annoying then Shahbaz (the scottish, pakistani, gay guy) and so outrageous that he may be really funny.

We'll see.

I ain't gettin on no reality TV show, Hannibal!

Tue, 02 May 2006 10:28:58 GMT

Oh yes you are, Mr T:

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117942361?categoryid=1238&cs=1&s=h&p=0

There's no way a channel over here won't pick the rights up to show it, surely?

Lost by 'Lost'? Let T2D help...

Mon, 01 May 2006 20:11:51 GMT

Ok, time for an admission - it's the eve of the UK premiere of the first episode from series 2 of 'Lost' (Tuesday, C4, 10PM)...and before last Monday, i hadn't seen an episode. Then, having heard so much about it, I decided to go on a marathon viewing mission - seven days on and 24 episodes later, I'm utterly hooked. It seems though that many people (who've been waiting for so long for the second series to begin) have forgotten bits from the first series. Others may feel a bit scared about leaping in w/o having seen series 1.

So, allow T2D to attempt to get you up to speed with a brief account of 'Lost' and what's happened so far...here goes nothing!

THE GENERAL IDEA

Flight 815 from Sydney to Los Angeles starts like any other - until, without warning, the plane hits an enormous amount of turbulence during the flight and breaks apart into 3 seperate segments. The middle one crashes onto the beach of a mysterious island and, from the wreckage, 48 people survive. 'Lost' is the story of what happens next in their battle for survival and rescue - whilst uncovering (via flashbacks) what has gone before in their lives...lives which are never quite what they seem, and may even be strangely linked.

THE STORY SO FAR

Just a general idea folks, as will cover the rest when looking at the characters.

The first few days are heavy in character back story but, in truth, not THAT much really happens. One bit part character (and FBI agent) dies, one small group go hunting for the cockpit section, the rest stay put. The cockpit group have a fun time - they recover some transmitter technology and find out the co-pilot is still alive. Said pilot proceeds to tell them that they are way, way off course (thanks to equipment failure and a course adjustment) and so are near 1000 miles off from where anyone will be looking for them. Unfortunately, said pilot then gets pulled out of the cockpit and his carcass dumped on top the tree canopy a few minutes later by some mysterious, huge creature in the forest - one which we're later told is a 'security measure'.

A later foray by another group to try and send out an SOS discovers that there's ALREADY a signal coming from somewhere on the island - one that's spoken in French saying that everyone is dead and has been automatically playing itself for near 16 years. As one character says - just what kind of an island is this?

After a few days of generally getting themselves together, the survivors split into 2 groups. One group move a mile inland to shelter in caves (which also offer a supply of fresh water), the other stay on the beach keeping signal fires lit. One character, Sayeed, is then captured by an inhabitant of the island - Danielle, the French woman who made the SOS signal and has been living there since her research group became trapped there and all died (he escapes - she seems a little unhinged). Another, Locke, discovers something far weirder - a concrete hatch dug into the floor in another part of the jungle, no outside handle, a small window in its top, numbers engraved around the rim and seemingly unopenable.

Said hatch is excavated in secret by Locke and Boone (leading to the death of one character after an accident in a discovered, abandoned plane - seemingly crashed by drug-runners from Nigeria) while, at the beach, a number of survivors decide to buil a raft on which to escape. Whilst all this is going on, a mysterious man with seemingly superhuman strength called Ethan Ray kidnaps pregnant survivor Claire who escapes and is found 5 days later. Ray is shot and killed - but his name isn't on the passenger manifest. Who the hell was he?

Finally, in the last double episode...the raft (with Michael, his son Walt, Jin and Sawyer) set sail and think they've been rescued by a mysterious trawler and its crew. Instead, their story ends with the trawler sailing away with young Walt, Michael clinging onto the on-fire raft and both Sawyer and Jin having disappeared beneath the water. Back on the island, the group at the caves are celebrating the return of Claires baby after danielle kidnapped him. The group of Jack, Locke, Hurley and Kate, following the discovery of a centuries-old schooner in the middle of the jungle (don't ask - its as strange as the polar bears spotted and shot in the forest...yes, that's POLAR bears on a tropical island) blow the top off the mysterious hatch. And end up looking down into a seemingly endless concrete tunnel, with a ladder descending inside...

THE CHARACTERS

1. AT THE SHAFT

Jack - The good guy, our hero. A talented surgeon in the depths of despair after the death of his father (Jack's former head surgeon who he himself was forced to reveal as being drunk on duty and costing the life of a patient) and suffering from a failed marriage. A reluctant leader, nevertheless Jack's done a great job with everyone there - even finally winning over the enigmatic Sawyer who tells him that he met his father in an Aussie bar, and Jack was forgiven by him before his death. Seems to have a soft spot for Kate.

Kate - An enigma wrapped in a mystery, Kate's a fugitive on the run who may not be quite as hardened as she seems. On the run from the FBI for armed robbery and (possibly) the manslaughter of her childhood sweetheart at the very least, we still are no wiser as to what crime she committed to start with. Very much the female version of Sports Billy - strong, resourceful and seemingly has a wealth of experience in jungle survival from weekends spent with her Dad as a child. Has a crush on Jack and an attraction to Sawyer - is she a good girl or a good actor?

Locke - A recently-crippled clerk in a box-making factory (owned by Hurley, strangely enough), screwed over by both his parents and a fantasist fanatic about wilderness life, the crash enables Locke to live the dream as it returns the use of his legs to him. To the group, he's the 'big white hunter' character with a quasi-mystical aura. Until the death of Boone, which loses him the trust of the group. As of yet, no-one else knows what his former life was like - but Jack believes there may be trouble in store with him, his hidden agenda and his enigmatic attitude. Possibly the smartest man on the island - or the most misled.

Hurley - Quite simply everyone who watches 'Lost' loves Hurley, the overweight guy with a dry sense of humour. Yet Hurley may have the most mysterious story surrounding him of all. A lottery winner worth over $165 million (again, no-one know - even Charlie doesn't believe him when he tells him), Hurley is convinced he is jinxed as a result of the numbers he won the lottery with - numbers he got from an inmate in a mental institution (was Hurley once an inmate himself?), an inmate who screams at him to stop them when he finds out, an inmate who got them with another guy whilst on signal duty on a remote pacific outpost years before - the same numbers which appear around the top of the mysterious hatch, the same numbers that led Danielle and her researchers to the island when responding to a distress call. Odd things seem to happen to people around Hurley...

2. ON THE RAFT

Michael - Former artist and construction worker Michael, flying back from Sydney with the 10 year-old son he's never met by a wife who abandoned him and recently died of a tumor. Learning how to look after Walt, Michael built the raft with much help from Jin who he's built up a friendship with - despite the language barrier and the fight between the two about watches and Jin's wife.

Walt - Michael's son, who doesn't realise that the father he grew up with didn't love him at all...and gave him up to michael, whose hidden it to save Walt's feelings. learning to love his dad, there's something very weird about Walt...the kid seems insanely lucky, possibly even giftedly so. Also has a fascination with an enigmatic spanish comic book which appears in the wreckage...a comic book with pictures of polar bears...

Jin - Korean husband of Sun and the island's last non-English speaker. The most misunderstood character of series 1 'til late on, when we realise that he isn't a nasty mobster - but is actually trying to stop his wife finding out that it's her father (and his employer) who is the REAL bad guy, and was intending on fleeing into hiding upon arrival in the USA with Sun to escape the Korean mob. A good fisherman and hard worker, if he survives the end of the series then expect him to learn english very quickly from the phrasebook Sun made him.

Sawyer - Not his real name but the name of the man he intends to kill (in return for causing, as he sees it, the muder of his parents when he was a child), Sawyer is the bad boy of the group who perhaps only Kate realises is not what he tries to be. Has been tortured by Jack and Sayeed just to get a kiss from Kate and to make a point, he's a small-bit conman who deep-down you suspect has a heart of gold. And a soft spot for Kate.

AT THE CAVES/BEACH

Sun - Jin's wife, who learnt English as part of the plan to leave him and go into hiding just before the flight (thinking him to be a murdering gangster), only to stop at the last minute when she realised she still loved him...the two patched things up just before the raft set sail. Sun, though the pamopered daughter of a mobster, seems very skilled in the healing arts, herbal skills and nursing. Also may have a slight soft spot for Michael.

Charlie - The UKs own Dominic Monaghan (LOTR) is excellent as Charlie, lapsed Catholic and ex-member of rock band 'Driveshaft' and a heroin addict who appears to have kicked the habit with help from Locke and (later) Jack during his time on the island. Besotted with the lovely Claire (it will happen at some point), he's a sweet guy who survived being hung virtually to death while trying to save her when she was kidnapped. A lively temper (has punched both Sawyer and Sayeed during his stay and shot the mysterious Ethan ray the odd 5 times), everyone is hoping that the statue he's seen holding at the end of the first series - a statue taken from the downed smugglers plane which may well contain heroin - is just a red herring...

Claire - The lovely, vulnerable Aussie female of the series, Claire is a single mother of one (that one, Aaron, was born about 21 episodes in) who ended up on 815 thanks to the advice of a psychic - a psychic who it seems may have foresaw her fate and deliberately sent her on there. She's very fond of Charlie and you suspect romance may well ensue there before long.

Sayeed - Provider of the most memorable line in season 1 (during a discussion with Hurley about the Gulf War, his reply to what part of the army he was in was 'the republican guard'), former Iraqi communications officer Sayeed seems a good guy with an unfortunate past. Searching for his sweetheart whom he saved from the brutal Iraqi regime, he was then forced to take part in a 'sting' operation by the American govt on a college friend and reluctant terrorist cell member - who promptly blew his own head off in front of him upon finding out Sayeed was working for the US. Reluctantly participated in the torture of Sawyer (with whom there is a definite enmity) and struck up a wary kinship with mad Frenchwoman Danielle, Sayeed has started a romantic liason with the much-younger Shannon...it is surely doomed...

Shannon - Oh what a tangled web here. Spoilt Shannon was the rich bitch of the island, who initially was only seen sunbathing and harassing her brother Boone. Then it emerged that Boone was her stepbrother and the heir to a huge American business who'd flown to Austalia to bail her out of an abusive relationship for the 3rd time...and then proceeded to sleep with her after she confronted him about his feelings for her. She then cast him to one side and started her affair with Sayeed, and is now struggling to come to terms with Boone's recent death on the island whilst beginning to demonstrate a far softer side underneath her hardened, spoilt exterior.

That's about it folks. Mysteries upon mysteries but well worth it.

The French Penguin is on his back!

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 09:51:26 GMT

100s of channels showing various amounts of sub-standard quiz crap....

...so why has no-one seemed to have picked up the rights to reshow the ORIGINAL (Sturat Hall, not Cheggers) 'It's A Knockout'?

Was there anyone between the ages of about 25-40 who wouldn't make the effort to watch a repeat of at least one of those shows if given the chance on TV one night?

Bemusing - should anyone be aware of a channel that does show it (again, I state NOT the Chegwin remake on Challenge which is just dire), let me know. May well trawl the net and put a few clips up on the front page for the uninitiated.

Licence To Bill

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 09:31:53 GMT

The TV Licence....

Ok - its original purpose was a noble one. To have an independent broadcasting body whose funding allowed them to 'educate, entertain and inform' (I think the mantra was something like that) without having to bow to the pressures of advertisers and commercial interests which want maximum viewers for maximum product exposure.

However - does it really hold up now? For a cost of £130 in the birth of the satellite age, I think not. Ok, BBC1 and BBC2 are staple parts of every TV watchers diet - but what about the other channels?

BBC3 gets the chance to showcase new comedy but, in truth, relatively few of them are of a standard that could transfer across to mainstream. For every 'Little Britain' or 'The Office', there's a '2 Pints of Lager...' or an 'Ideal'. Quite simply, programmes that could just as easily be trialled in slots that show repeats of old 'Have I Got News...' or 'Buzzcocks' on BBC2 itself. And it also broadcasts nothing until 7pm.

BBC4 would probably be one of the channels I'd say IS worthwhile - some fascinating documentaries and arts-based items, along with cultural reviews and some interestign dramatic experiments (i.e. the live version of 'Quatermass'). Again though - only shows from 7pm.

CBeebies & Kids - morning coverage on BBC2 and afternoons on BBC1 are nearly enough for an audience that SHOUDLN'T be watching the TV all the way through the day. Besides which, surely BBC's 1 & 2 could incorporate more children's daytime TV if needed? Old repeats of reality progs and poor American dramas are fulfilling none of the 3 main criteria.

BBC News - Questionable. Not so much whether it should exist (it should) but whether it fulfills such an essential role as it used to. There are many other rivals to such a service these days - and the lauded impartiality of the BBC and their status as the finest news beacon of the Western World has to be questioned.

BBC Parliament - Does anyone watch it?

And, of course, the radio. In these days of subscription pick and mix, can you really justify to a Radio 3 & 4 listener the merits of them paying for 1Xtra or the Asian Network (especially when, although the analogue switch-off is coming, it isn't yet here...but many w/o digital are still funding such channels).

For me, we've hit the point where that 'ideal world' model of the BBC simply doesn't exist anymore (let's also remember that, as unbiased as it tries to be, we're still looking at govt-funded TV via the taxpayer...let's face it, since ministers kicked up a fuss re: the BBCs hard and fast approach towards the reporting of the Iraq War and the suspicious death of the fella involved with the dossier a few years ago, I think the BBC have noticeably 'backed-off' the government). Would adverts really affect it that much - swapping the BBC's self-publication between every programme for publicising somethign else?

Surely there should be some kind of halfway house? A subscription service for the BBC. Let's have some transparency - list exactly what the upkeep of each channel is, pay a flat rate for BBC1, BBC2 and (perhaps) local radio, and then decide what other channels you wish to receive and pay the subsequent amount to get them.

Just my thoughts...

CBB - Go Chantelle

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 10:51:05 GMT

Having watched the eviction of Jodie with mixed feelings (gutted she went but also relieved for her own mental good), it's entertaining to see that now their chosen target has been removed that the ringleaders are turning on each other, it seems. Galloway is now in cahoots with Pete Burns and Barrymore was the first to feel his uncomfortable wrath regarding the Cigar for Cigarettes scandal (lol). The two are also throwing comments in about Faria and Dennis....pretty much against anyone who questions George's viewpoint.

But there is hope....Pete finally made the attack viewers had been waiting for from one of the celebs against Chantelle in the diary room, basically along the lines of 'she's got what she came for, why is she still here - she has no right to be'. Big error, as I think Chantelle is ironically the most popular housemate in CBB with most of the public and Pete's already on thin ice re: the fur issue and his treatment of Jodie.

Oh, and one more thing - Jimmy Saville. Legend.

New Media Player Clip

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 14:27:15 GMT

Probably need to view in IE and have volume up - you'll giggle despite yourself.

Matt

P.S. yes, the clock was rubbish - it's now gone.

Advertisement break record

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 15:37:29 GMT

Okay, previous to today, the most annoyingly early and pointless ad break used to happen during Buffy TVS on Sky One. You'd get the little 3 min intro, then the titles, then another 5-6 mins and then a break...about 11 or 12 mins in.

Today, that was bettered by about 10 minutes! Congratulations to ABC1. whose 3pm showing of 'Home Improvement' (arf arf arf) managed a 30 second intro, then rolled the opening credits - which then went IMMEDIATELY into a 4 minute ad break!!

That's just exceptional.

'Animal Cops' on Animal Planet - not fair

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 11:07:47 GMT

Tuned in to watch a programme called 'Animal Cops' last night and felt incredibly disappointed once I had.

Surely the station should be sued for false advertising - they were human cops looking into animal mistreatment cases. Now this is still a worthy cause, but......

...I thought it'd be animals as cops.

How cool would that be?? I expected to see squirrels in uniform shaking down the local ferret population for information on stolen nuts and plain-clothes hamster detectives hot in pursuit of thieves who were, quite literally, cat burgalars.

Far more entertaining.

Go On, Anthony!

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 20:32:48 GMT

30 minutes to go folks - if you don't all pick up your phones and vote for Anthony, then I'll ****** *** ***** ******** ** * (censored for being just too scary).

You've been warned.

House of Obsessive Compulsives - 9pm C4 2night

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 10:07:38 GMT

UPDATE ON BELOW - Watched it and left a comment about each part. leave your own comments in this post.

Undecided on whether to watch myself yet (in a kind of 'been there, bought the T-shirt and then worried about the T-shirt colour for 3 months' sense) but the C4 programme on at 9pm tonight may be worth a look. Is like BB for OCD people, without the competition element from what I can tell.

I don't expect it to be totally relevant to my strain - us pure-O sufferers are a little less common then the standard strain ('ooooh, 'ark at 'im!'). And we'd make rubbish TV as we'd be sat down in silence thinking about things for hours. But is bound to give a certain amount of insight into pure-O, and a huge amount into how standard OCD works. In truth, is a similar process anyway - the real difference is the my obsessions AND compulsions done through thinking, where as most OCDers exercise their compulsions in a far more graphic, physical sense.

Not just that but talking, reading or watching other peoples accounts re: their OCD is sometimes a little double-edged. Can be therapeutic but also runs the gauntlet of triggering your own off at the same time. I'm sure any other sufferers with similar obs to me that have read this blog have probably experienced it - sorry folks.

In the words of Sylvester the Cat - "BB housemates, you're dessssssthpicable'

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 21:42:47 GMT

A scheming, devious, nasty, bitching, backstabbing, caniving, manipulative, selfish, dishonest, insincere, immature group of individuals with almost no redeeming features amongst the whole group.

Despite so many of them knowing - truly knowing - just how much stirring and manipulation Makosi has caused in there, they resort to cowardice and self-preservation in todays nominations. Almost all of them would gladly shake you by the hand that will hold the knife buried in your back 5 minutes later.

Yes it's a game - and £100,000 is a lot of money. But to sacrifice your own integrity and beliefs to win it? No. And anyone who comes out of that saying 'they were just playing the game' - sorry, but I don't believe any of you are good enough actors to do so.

Astoundingly, only Craig is emerging unscathed from this in my mind. Immature, jealous, bitchy - yes. But at least he's fundamentally honest, seems genuine and stands by his convictions. I could cope with him or Anthony winning but, in truth, I'd weep few tears to see the whole house and its occupants wiped off the face of the earth.

Makosi...PREGNANT??? PMSL

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 21:36:08 GMT

There's more chance of Anthony carrying Craig's child.

As much as I loathe her approach - dishonesty and scheming, whether it's a game or not, I just find wrong - a tiny part of me is developing a horrified sense of admiration for her. Are there no lengths this woman will not go to in order to keep support inside the house and win the prize money? She makes Nasty Nick look like Gandhi.

I simply don't believe a word of it at all - I just hope that, when she eventually faces the public vote, they see her for what she really is.

As for Vanessa's reaction ("Amazing! You'll be the first person to have a baby in the BB house!") - throw her a Dime bar, someone.

NB: Of course, if we're let in on the results of the pregnancy test and it proves positive - oh...my...god.