Things To Do In Bristol When You're (OCD)ead

Kinda odd day today.

Would have been Nana's birthday so took Mum down the grave at around 8:15am or so to put some flowers on and just spend some time I guess. Had a long chat whilst there - am hoping it may have helped Mum to get over some things. Been over 2 years now and she's still finding it hard on a daily basis. Understandable - is your Mum ffs, you NEVER get over that I'd think - but deep down she's still kept replaying things too much in an effort to find some way to blame herself, some way to make herself feel responsible for it. Anyway, after said chat, I think/hope she's finally realised she was blameless in the whole scheme of things...Nanas number was up, simple as that and regret/sadness should stop turning into guilt.

Never fun forcing a conversation like that when you know damn well you're risking upsetting them and was a bit of a gamble, but knew Mum needed to release it a bit and (hopefully) start moving on a little more. Was tough but I think I may have finally got through to her. Lots of memories though that i'd rather forget.

Decided to leave the Pilates for the day. Feel guilty about it but doing it in near 30 degree C heat seemed not the most wise of moves to me tbh. Still, looks like I'm now up to 3 times a week ok & have kept the healthy eating going and am now visibly starting to see the improvement a tiny bit. Still a long, long road ahead but it's enough to give me optimism and make me determined to continue.

As for my disorder? Finally started to recover from the post-wedding spell 2 weeks ago and, although the past few weeks has still found it rearing up every now and again, have a grip on things for now at least. At least it's going back to old topics and triggers atm which, although unpleasant, I'm more able to deal with, keep in perspective and control as I'm used to them I guess.

Past 6-7 weeks have been pretty unpleasant on a personal & mental level...in fact, a bit of a mess to be honest. History has had an eerie feel of repeating itself, I've been hugely confused by some things, upset by other things and been pretty lucky that a number of people held me up and helped me through the mess that was my own mind at times. Now? A little flat, pretty sad and kinda resigned to some stuff just being the way it is but, thanks to Rob, Vicky, Marc and others, am at least functioning again & can (slowly) leave things alone that I can't solve and move on a little. Is easy for experts to say that looking for reassurance isn't the right thing to do but sometimes they forget that sufferers are still human too and we all need that occasionally. I guess the trick is to be able to trust those you go to to be honest with you and say what you need to hear and what is the truth, rather than what you want to hear just to placate you...constructive reasurance I suppose. Am sure none of that makes any sense and all sounds very mysterious, but it makes sense to me and that's what counts :-P.

Anyway...my next diabetic check isn't until september, my testicular cancer check came back clear (not sure whether I said so on here before but it did, thank god) and so maybe I can just have a bit of a drama break for a month or 2. Here's hoping :).

...just been stressed and hot in equal measures! Will leave a longer entry (so to speak) later in the week.

Drag Me To Hell (15)

Dir: Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spidey etc)

Stars: Alison Lohman (Beowulf, Big Fish), Justin Long (Alvin & the Chipmunks…no, really)

In Short: Raimi returns to his horror roots with disgusting, scary, frequently hilarious and hugely successful results

 

Oh what a feelin’, when you’re possessed on the ceilin’…

 

The Plot: A young, beautiful, charmingly innocent twenty-something bank clerk goes against her own good nature in order to to get the promotion at work she’s been hoping for by refusing a bank loan to an old gypsy woman. The resulting curse leaves her with just 3 days to save her soul…

Anyone worried that Mr Raimi’s time in Hollywood (with access to big movie stars and even bigger budgets) might change his horror films for the worse can breathe a sigh of relief - ‘Drag Me To Hell’ is proof that his understanding of + love and respect for the genre is alive and well and as ghoulishly, gleefully effective as ever.

It may not be the ‘ED’ film the fans have been waiting for but all the staple Raimi ingredients are here. A lead character tormented by supernatural forces beyond her understanding or control, outrageous physical slapstick violence, lashings of cartoon gore so extreme that you’ll shudder and shriek with laughter in equal measure, the old EC comic ethos of a little irony being good for the blood – all are present and correct. Even the near-legendary Oldsmobile makes an appearance.

The bigger budget actually brings very little to the table that’s new (beyond some visual polish & slightly better acting talent – Mr Campbell being the exception, of course) and, if anything, just shows how remarkable Raimi’s former technical achievements were on a shoestring budget. Anyone whose seen the Dead trilogy will feel right at home here.

Yet the most important thing Raimi retains in ‘DMTH’ is the rare ability to mix out-and-out humour with a sense of worry and dread. He allows audiences to almost step back from the film and laugh at the outrageous splatterfest going on while, all the time, the next wave of mounting unease is already starting to kick in and build to a fever pitch. Sometimes it’ll just be left to play with your mind for a while, other times one almighty cathartic moment of seat-jumping shock will offer a few seconds of relief. And you’ll never guess which it’ll be.

Oh, and it has the best acting appearance by a goat in living memory.

In fact…I’ve ran out of superlatives. Just go and see it.

Updated the blog with a new clip to check out, new 'must listen' tune and new list of other tunes to chase down (all quite clubby this time round).

Mind you – damn good though.

Chris the Guru put me onto this a few days ago and when you see the promo material for the film describes it as ‘Donnie Darko for adults’ then, at the very least, you know you’ll be confused at the end. Fortunately, this one still succeeds on a microcosm of DD’s budget in creating a completely believable world and series of events which first build intrigue, then anticipation, then paranoia and ultimately a satisfyingly thought-provoking finale which leaves you re-reading the film long after the credits have rolled (and will no doubt lead to repeat viewings  - was already eager to see it again within seconds of the end).

You won’t completely grasp what the hell it all means at first and it trades DD’s semi-dreamlike surrealist touches to something far more gritty and believable (not a bad thing at all - in some ways akin to a sci-fi version of ‘Memento’) and it is excellent.

Won the Sundance award in 2004 and easy to see why – go check it out.

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0390384/

Rotten Tomatoes: http://uk.rottentomatoes.com/m/primer/